


Merry Kissmuss, Wahoo

by emmaR2



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Gen, Holiday, Jersey, Kid-fic, Pre-Slash, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-05
Updated: 2013-01-05
Packaged: 2017-11-23 18:51:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/625452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmaR2/pseuds/emmaR2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny and Steve met before Oahu, they just didn't remember</p>
            </blockquote>





	Merry Kissmuss, Wahoo

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Lihi Pilikia](https://archiveofourown.org/works/364737) by [SBG](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SBG/pseuds/SBG). 



> So, I'm super late with this because I wanted to post it to LiveJournal and Archive at the same time. Of course, I was locked out of LJ for a week...
> 
> OI!  
> Unbetaed, I own nothing, all is property of Plenkov and CBS....
> 
> Thanks to SBG for allowing me to borrow toddler Danny.

 

**Merry Kissmus**

**Christmas 2012**

_Oahu_

It was around 2pm when Steve strolled into the house. First piece of business, a shower and a change. He sighed as he tugged at the day-old tuxedo. Danno didn’t understand – when you spent almost 20 years of your life wearing a uniform, all you wanted to do on leave was be comfortable. That’s why Steve didn’t like suits. Not because he was _an insane jungle-junkie who’d rather wear boar skins than real-people clothes_. Besides, boar skin wouldn’t be any more comfortable.

He sniffed the air – it seemed impossible, but Doris was going all out and actually cooking a turkey. It was a very homey scent. Very welcoming. Okay, Steve was game. “Smells delicious!” He shouted appreciatively. He flinched as his mother answered from behind his left six.

“Thanks” she strode past him, stopping to adjust his collar. “Walk of shame on Christmas Eve. Very traditional.” She smiled coolly as Steve felt himself flush. “I hope you got that girl some flowers.”

“Cath will be over at 19:00” He tried to ignore her coolly assessing gaze. “Good.” She smiled. “Did you ask him?” She didn’t blink. She was really too good. He couldn’t read her at all.

“He’s not coming.” Steve shrugged, trying not to look disappointed. “He says he has plans.”

“Oh he’s coming.” Doris seemed certain.

Steve rubbed the back of his neck, which suddenly felt as if it had been clamped in a vise. He’d tried to cajole his reluctant partner all day yesterday but with no luck. Normally Danny wouldn’t have needed an invitation, he would’ve headed straight to Steve’s with a six-pack of Longboards, and spent all evening bitching about not having Gracie, and how Christmas in Hawaii _was wrong, just wrong_ , all while he was eating bits of the dinner before they sat down. Steve liked that – he liked being taken for granted by Danny. He knew it was a Jersey version of Ohana, (without actually having to say the word) and it delighted Steve every time his grumpy partner would steal the remote and put on the game. The fact that Danny had rarely been over recently, and hadn’t even mentioned Grace was in Las Vegas until yesterday meant something was up.

Steve knew that a large part of that something was smirking across the table at him.

“You’re pretty hard on him when he’s around.” Steve tried to stare her down.

“Have you never heard of the grand old Jersey tradition of “busting chops?” She raised one eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure he’s practiced on you a few times.”

“Look, he’s had a rough year and Gracie being in Las Vegas for the holidays isn’t helping.” Steve tried his best negotiating voice. “He just needs - ”

“ – to be around people who care about him“ Doris ended the negotiation by abruptly changing tacks. “Give me your cell phone.”

“What? No.” He watched in astonishment as Doris neatly rounded the table and picked his pocket. Damn, he thought as she keyed through the speed dial, she was good.

He tried his command voice. “That is a government issued phone for government business.”

“Bullshit” she activated the screen-saver. It was one of Gracie’s drawings. Before Steve could round the table she found the speed dial marked by a thumbnail of Jon BonJovi. Danny must’ve been waiting for it because he answered after the first ring.

Doris hit the speaker button.

“Well, if it isn’t an Officer and a Gentleman! I’m sure you got lucky after that Buddy, because you were wearing a tie and that is the magic right there, okay? You wear a tie then you are class, you are James Bond. Now to the other thing – “ Steve sighed as Danny continued, oblivious to the fact his mother was waiting calmly, like a cobra poised to strike. “It is Not Happening. I am Not Coming and, for your information, I am not sitting here in my boxers drinking beer, watching Miracle on 34th street – It is It’s A Wonderful Life, thank you very much, which is a masterpiece of holiday film making.” Danny wound down, finally noticing the silence.

Doris let him sweat for a moment then smiled. “Well, Danno, I’m glad to hear it because we have both Miracle on 34th Street and It’s A Wonderful Life.”

“Um, Mrs. McGarrett,“ He sounded a little stunned.

“Doris is fine – “

“Well I was just – “

“watching TV and drinking beer by yourself? Doesn’t sound too festive. We sit down at 8, so arrive anytime after 7 for cocktails and snacks.” She waited as the Jersey detective sputtered, at a little loss for words. Steve paced back and forth, clearly torn between stealing back the phone and letting Doris talk Danny into coming to dinner.

“Look, I don’t think“ Danny’s reluctance was palpable.

“Daniel Patrick Williams…don’t over think.” She gave Steve an enigmatic look as Danny sputtered.

“You know my middle name? What am I saying, of course you know my middle name – Now the question is naturally – why? Why do you know my middle name? That’s what has me worried.” Steve gave his mother a modified combat glare. He didn’t appreciate her doing Intel on one of his team. Doris merely shrugged.

“That’s not all I know,” Doris hinted. “Come to dinner and find out more. Merry Kissmus, Danno”

“WHAT? What the?” Danny was still sputtering as she hung up the phone.

Steve strode around the table to confront her and steal back his phone. “What the hell was the that, Doris?”

“You wanted him here for dinner – he’s coming to dinner.” Doris patted Steve on the arm. “You should probably take a shower.” Steve watched in stunned disbelief as she strode off to the kitchen.

**Christmas Eve 1978**

_Departures Terminal - Newark Airport_

Barb Williams was distracted from mentally cursing out the departures board by a friendly knee grope by a handsome stranger with sleepy hazel eyes.

“Hi” the adorable toddler in camouflage footie pajamas flashed her a flirtatious grin as he marched his GI Joe doll over her knees. “Hi, hi hi hi hi” he marched the doll back and forth, greeting her in formation. Barb figured the parents must be close by, so she smiled and addressed the doll.

“Merry Christmas Soldier! What’s your name?” The little guy grinned in delight as he realized Barb was willing to play. His voice dropped from a trebling tenor to a tenor with a heavy smoking habit as he solemnly rasped. “GI Joe.”

“Well, Hey Joe! Whaddya know?” Barb extended her hand and shook the tiny plastic hand as a chic but flustered looking brunette came running up.

“Stevie! Wait for Mommy Stevie!” She gave Barb an apologetic nod. “Sorry, he’s always getting away from me. Sometimes I wonder if the moms who put their children on a leash have the right idea.”

Barb chuckled. She could see this one had practically run his mother ragged.

“I’m lucky, mine usually stays nearby, but oh my gawd,” Barb chuckled, her Jersey coming through, loud and clear, “he gets into fights. And then he always tries to say he’s a good boy.”

“Oh you have another one besides…” The lanky brunette nodded at Barb’s obviously pregnant stomach. Following his mother’s glance, Stevie giggled and patted Barb’s stomach. “BIG!” He exclaimed loudly.

“Stevie!” Doris gave him a chastising look. The little forehead crinkled and his lower lip jutted out. “GI Joe!” He declared stubbornly. Doris’ forehead crinkled back in response. “Be good, Joe!” He glared back at his mother, and crossed his arms. Barb sensed this Battle Royale had gone on many times before.

“Oh he’s fine, please sit. I’m Barb Williams.” She held her hand out to the other woman.

“Doris McGarrett, nice to meet you.” She sat down cautiously beside the petite blond. For a moment she had almost given one of her aliases. Old habits die hard, she thought as she sighed to herself. “He’s been getting a little antsy since our flight was delayed. Usually I try to tire him out so all he does is sleep, but that was a few hours ago and now he’s raring to go again.”

“Yeah, we’re delayed too. Taking the kid to Florida to visit the Grandparents and maybe sneak in Disneyworld. A last big blowout before he has to share his Christmases with his new little brother or sister. He’s off with his Dad, grabbing a juice. I didn’t want to give him sugar, but hey – the kid was hungry.” She chuckled conspiratorially.

Doris smiled but her smile was a little wobbly. This friendly and open woman from obviously saw her as a kindred soul. Two moms at Christmas-time. She wished it were so simple.

“So are you guys headed home?” They both watched as Stevie, bored, decided to wandered over to the other seat and climbed up, only to climb down again, and then climb again.

“He really can’t sit still not even for five minutes. I don’t know what I’m going do with him. “ Doris sighed as she watched her son’s single-minded focus. He was grunting with his efforts, but chuckling as he did them. Barb decided she wouldn’t comment on the obvious diversion.

“Wow, he’s really athletic. Climbs like a little monkey.” Barb smiled.

“Yeah. Very advanced physically.” Doris could hear the strain in her voice “ but he’s behind verbally. His Doctor says he’s fine, progressing rapidly – but - ” Barb read between the lines, what the stressed mom wasn’t saying. She’d probably had an earful from strangers and family members telling her what was wrong and what was right and Barb knew all about that. Dennis’ family had been giving it to her from the moment Danny was born. It really pissed her off.

“Okay, for real…I know what you’re saying and I can tell ya – theirs is nothing wrong with that baby. He’s smart. I looked that kid in the eye – he’s got it going on – on all cylinders. He’s probably just stubborn. Doesn’t wanna talk too much because he knows everybody wants him to. Figures, that’ll show ‘em.” She looked over to where the kid was running along the seats, making explosive noises. He was carefully not looking at the two mothers but Barb thought she spotted a sly grin. “Okay, yeah – he’s definitely playing possum.”

Doris grinned, the first open and genuine smile since they’d started talking and Barb realized, uh huh, so that’s where the little charmer got it. Just then her Denney approached with Danny in tow. He approached cautiously, the sight of two women sitting and talking obviously making him nervous.

“Get over here, Dennis Williams, we weren’t talking about you…yet!” Barb called out cheerfully. Doris chucked as Barb’s husband, broad-shouldered and muscular, and a good head taller than his wife, gave them both a comically terrified look.

“Oh, he thinks he’s funny” Barb muttered, “I wonder if he’ll still think he’s funny when he’s sleeping on the sofa.” Denney grinned.

“I already am, Babe” He patted her stomach fondly and gave Doris a friendly nod, “Merry Christmas -”

“Merry Christmas” Doris was stunned. These people thought nothing of giving up all their personal details to the nearest stranger. This is how it is in the real world, she thought to herself. People do this, they talk – they don’t weigh their conversations carefully, conscious of the impact of every word. She was cut off from her musings as two tiny little sticky hands reached up and pulled her down for a sloppy kiss.

“Merry Kissmus” lisped the angelically beautiful little toddler with a head full of unruly blond waves, brilliant blue eyes and his mother’s delicate bone structure. Danny could’ve easily passed for a girl if it weren’t for the pugnacious little chin and well-pressed little jeans and sweater. She couldn’t help chuckling as she gave him a kiss back. “Merry Kissmus”

“Hey, whoa there slugger. “ Denney Williams chuckled as he picked up his son, a little embarrassed. “Not sure where he got it, but he’s been kissing everyone.” Barb laughed.

“Oh yeah sure we don’t know where he got it from.” Barb gave Doris a knowing look. “Denney’s a firefighter, and that uniform is like catnip to any single female within 30 miles. He takes Danny out to a game with the guys and suddenly the kid is kissing everyone. What do you think?”

“I think – “ Doris chuckled and gave Denney a sympathetic smile “you’re in the doghouse.” Denney shrugged ruefully.

“For a week.”

Doris shook her head again, admiring the angelically perfect little boy. This was the kid who got into fights? “He’s amazing. He could be a Gerber Baby – “

“Oh here we go – “ Denney’s grimace was rueful. “Behave, kid.”

“NO!” The perfect little face screwed up into an outraged scowl and he kicked until his father put him down in self-defense.

“NO! Not baby!” The blue eyes flashed fire and he placed his hands on his hips.

“Daniel Patrick Williams,” Barb cautioned. “You watch your tone!”

The scrappy little boy glared for one more moment, and then he nodded. “s’rry” He extended his hand, just like his father. Doris looked to Barb a little concerned.

“Sorry about that. “ She shrugged in response “Danny is very sensitive about his size.” Doris nodded and shook the little hand.

“Very sorry Danny, I apologize. How old are you” He gave her a distrustful look but at his mother’s glare, held up three fingers.

“Don’t lie, Danny” Barb admonished. He had a stubborn glint in his eye, but he nodded. “Be a good boy.” He nodded.

“Two half” He grunted.

“Oh you’re right, you’re not at all a baby. In fact, you’re the same age as my son, Stevie” She pointed at her son who was just moving on from the explosion game to doing a handstand against the seats. “No Stevie! Stop it!”

To her amusement, the serious little blond boy took it upon himself to chastise her son as well.

“NO! ” He shouted. He ran over and shook his finger at the larger toddler. “NO ‘TEEVY!” Stevie was chuffing with his efforts, in his own world, until he spotted the blond boy. He smiled brightly and flipped back down on the chair, grinning at Danny.

“On the other hand, Danny is very verbal.” Barb chuckled again.

“Bossy, you mean -” Denny apologized. He gave Doris a conspiratorial look “Gets it from her. ”

“Oh, no that’s your mother right there, Dennis.” They grinned at each other. Doris felt it like a gut punch. If only she could be this easy with John – they wouldn’t have had to travel.

Stevie grinned delightedly a jumped off the chair. He grabbed the tiny blond a hug.

“Baby!” Again the angelic face scowled. So quickly that none of the adults could stop him, he balled up one tiny fist and punched Steve in the side of his head.

“It’s okay, Stevie” Doris jumped up. The little fist probably did no damage, but Stevie was very sensitive. There were no other children Stevie’s age in their neighborhood, and her son was still learning to socialize.

“DANNY!” Barb yelled. The little boy ignored her and glared at Stevie.

“NOT baby!” Taken by surprise, Stevie down at Danny, his eyes filling with tears and his lips trembling. Suddenly his face twisted and he glared back. “BAD!” he shouted and he shoved Danny down to the floor.

“M’ a GOOD BOY!” Danny yelled back and the two boys started scuffling in earnest, as Barb shouted and Doris tried to separate them. Denny watched with a grin until both women turned and glared at him.

“They’re gonna be best friends, you realize that?“ They continued to glare at him until he sighed and stood up with effort. He easily reached over and pulled the two toddlers apart. He turned both boys around to face him.

“Kay guys, enough. You’re scaring the ladies.” Danny sniffed and to Doris’ amusement, tried to smooth his hair. Stevie glared stubbornly at the floor.

“Okay, I need you two to apologize and go ahead and play.”

Danny sighed dramatically.

“Apologize Danny or weren’t not seeing Mickey.” That got a reaction. The little face looked up at his father, horrified. He quickly turned to Steve. “s’rry ‘Teevy”. He extended his hand. Stevie stared at it, then at back Danny, his lower lip extended.

Stalemate.

Doris grinned as inspiration struck. “Stevie, wish Danny a Merry Christmas.” She pulled her camera out of her purse. Barb saw, grinned and grabbed her own.

“What a good idea!” Barb smiled, ignoring Denney’s protests. “Danny, wish Stevie a Merry Christmas!”

Stevie looked resentfully at the other boy. “m’crishmis” They watched giggling as Danny gave an astonished Steve a wet sticky kiss. His eyes went as wide as saucers and then he grinned and kissed Danny back.

Denney gave both women a glare, and Barb smiled. “You’re right, hon – they are gonna be best friends…now.”

Stevie flopped on the floor like he was in a foxhole. Positioning GI Joe, he commenced taking down the invading hordes as they headed to the bathroom.

After a moment, Danny sat down beside him. “m’ seeing Mickey –“ he piped excitedly, though he calmed when he saw his mother’s look. “and Grammangrandpa o‘cors. Where you going ‘Teevy?” Stevie had GI Joe take out a few more passersby before he answered.

“Wahoo.” He took a few more shots.

“Where?!” The little blonde burst out into delighted chortles. Steve grinned and repeated “Wahoo.” Danny fell backwards with laughter.

Doris gave Barb a look. “Do we know what’s going on now?” Denney called out to the boys.

“What’s up guys?” Danny could barely sit up he was laughing so hard, and Steve was quietly grinning too.

“’Teevys CRAZY, “ Danny exclaimed delightedly. Stevie dropped all pretence of playing with GI Joe. He just smiled at the adults and said “Wahoo.”

Danny gasped for breath. “’Teevy’s sez he’s going to Wahoo! He’s crazy!” he smiled fondly at the other toddler.

Crap, Doris thought to herself. There’s no security when toddlers are around.

She smiled at the Williams’ inquiring glances. “He’s right. We live in Oahu. If you’re ever in Hawaii – “

“Yeah, as if” Barb smiled.

“Too rich for our blood,” Denney winked.

“Well, you never know…” Doris smiled.

 

**Present**

 

“Merry Christmas, boys.” Doris sat back with her glass of wine.

Both Steve and Danny were at a loss for words as they turned the pages of the little photo books in their hands. She had copied all the photos she’d taken that day. There was one of the Christmas kisses, one of Steve giving Danny a piggyback ride, one of sticky faces and melted candy canes, and finally one of two exhausted boys, snuggled together, fast asleep on the seats in the Departures lounge at Newark Airport.

Catherine nodded across the table as the two men struggled to find words. Danny shook his head, as if to clear it.

“You really were adorable, Danny.” Catherine smiled.

“Hey!” Steve gave her an outraged scowl.

“Well, of course,” Danny waved an arm at himself. “This – is Jersey prime, grade A, of course I was adorable.”

“You were sweet too, Steve.” Catherine winked.

“And certifiably insane” Danny gave Doris a friendly look. “I spotted it, even then – I did try to warn you.” Doris smiled enigmatically.

“Yes, you did Danny, thank you.”

“What’s crazy? I did live in Oahu. Did I not?” Steve glared.

“Camouflage footie pajamas.” Danny sighed. “That’s all I‘ve got to say.”

“I can believe that Kissmus thing. Totally. I bet he grabbed every woman in the room.” Steve declared with unholy glee.

Doris sat back and enjoyed the mood. Inevitably, Danny pointed out that he’d kissed Steve, so did Steve was Steve admitting to being a woman. Soon they were wrestling with Steve demanding his “Kissmus kiss” and Danny trying to avoid getting his hair ruined.

She laughed. Misson accomplished. Danny was finally starting to relax around her and Steve had his best friend back. It wasn’t much – they would probably revert to an amicable détente the next day but for now, the boys were having fun again.

She looked up. Catherine was smiling but biting her lip. She knows, Doris thought to herself. “Coincidences, huh?” She shrugged sympathetically at the beautiful brunette.

Cath took a sip from her wine. “I don’t believe in coincidence. I do believe in fate.“

Doris tried her best to telegraph her sympathy to the girl that was supposedly her son’s girlfriend. Naval stoicism came into play as she witnessed the girl shake it off and stand abruptly. “I think we should call Danny’s parents – this is too funny to keep to ourselves. What about it Doris, you want to say Hi to some old pals?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “That would be nice.”

She watched as Catherine led Danny off to the other room. Steve got up slowly and walked over. He didn’t say a word, but reached down to hug her, his first true hug since she’d been back.

“Thank you.” He said sincerely.

“Of course. “ Doris shrugged, carefully trying to hide the tears the spontaneous hug had triggered. “He’s Ohana. He needs to know he was always meant to be.”

Steve smiled warmly down at her and then his forehead crinkled …

“Hey, why wasn’t Dad with us – “ Doris shook her head.

“Mind your business, Steven Jonathan McGarrett and go talk to your in-laws,” she said only half kidding. He went, but he gave her a look that said ‘this was not over’. She sighed and topped up her glass.

“Merry Kissmus, Wahoo.” She toasted in the silence.

The END


End file.
